Do you control your feelings and your destiny?

Mmmmmm.  If you had asked me that question even 5 days ago, I would have answered (rather smugly too, I think), well, of course!  Back to mmmmm.  This week at work and in the recording studio, was extremely revealing to me about my personal pysche.  My feelings and moods are clearly and totally influenced by the comments and events that take place around me and about me.  I am not in control of my feelings at all and I am not choosing how I feel!  What?!!@!?  I mean, I do have a backbone and very strong opinions and very strong ideas and...blah, blah, blah.  Maybe sometimes I do.  This week, I did not.  Many other times, I have not.  And, it has  injured my soul.  My actual living, breathing, vibrant,  beautiful soul.  That internal piece of me that is such a precious gift from God that no one has the right to get near, unless I allow them to-and apparently I offered up my soul on a silver platter for viewing and commentary and judgement.  I have been doing this sort of thing more and more and let me tell you, it ain't workin'.   What am I doing?  Is this living?  Is this the example I want to set for my son?  Why am I not doing what I am supposed to be doing?  Why am I not believing in myself?  Fear?  Fear of what?  That I will be judged or found out?  Its already happening because I am allowing it!  So, why not do what I love-do what is my destiny-singing and performing and writing and know that the money and responsibilities will be met.   Is that the key?  Simply an innate knowing and believing that it will work out?  That is what "The Secret" says to do.  Do what you are supposed to do and the rest will work itself out.  I remember a time in my life when it seemed easy to think that way.  Now, with a husband and a baby and a mortgage, it seems so much harder to do that.  Other people are relying on me. Other people are counting on me.   And that's what makes this so important!  I must do what I am destined to do so that I can take care of my family both financially and spiritually.  Have I hit on the answer?  I believe I have. Mmmmm. 

The Summer Olympics are here!

I love the Olympics!  It brings back memories of my family all watching and rooting for Team America together.  Such happy thoughts!  Then there are the atheletes...the sacrifices, the discipline, the hard work!  It is absolutely awe-inspiring!  These people, whom I don't even know, actually make me work harder on my own personal goals and dreams.  Which is precisely why I have decided to watch the Olympics this summer.

You see, originally, I was feeling very self-righteous in my decision not to view the Olympics.  I mean, I couldn't possibly support, in any way, a country that controls its population and does not value its women.  A country who does not support any of the freedoms we hold so dear, like freedom of the press, religious freedom and the aforementioned, reproductive rights.  If I were to support the Olympics, why then I must be supporting the whole ideology of China!  

Please, sometimes I think I need to have my head examined.  First of all, I now realize how patriotic it is to support my team, no matter where they are competing!  It is our duty to support them by watching the TV and keeping up to date on their victories, via the internet or newspaper.  It also occured to me that by shining the bright light of publicity on China, it brings these issues to the fore front of people's minds.  I believe when that happens, the synchronicity factor kicks in! We are all talking about and thinking about these important issues and how to change them and make it better for the people of China.  I challenge you to think positively about the people of China, the issues they face and think of ways to improve their situation.  I challenge you to think about and pray for the leaders of China, that they take care of their citizens in a more democratic and spiritual way.  

Which brings me back to the original point.  I am watching the Olympics this year and praying that in my own personal way, I give spiritual support to not only my fabulous Team America, but also to the wonderful people of China.

Free Time?!

Good Morning!  I find myself with about 20 minutes of down time.....what??!!@#!  The baby is napping, the clothes in the wash, the husband still sleeping and I don't have to get in the shower for another 20-so I choose to share this time with you!

As always, I have on Fox News as I am really trying to keep up with the stock market and finance news and, of course, election information, and there was a story about an animal rights group that attacked the home of a biologist who does biomedical testing on animals.  They have used pipe bombs, graffiti and even one on one attacks. 

Honestly, I am a true lover of animals of all kinds.  We raised horses when I was a kid and always had dogs, cats, rabbits, birds etc.  I regularly give to different animal organizations for the protection and care of animals and own 2 beautiful dogs and a cat (a cinnamon Chow Chow, a Keeshond and a Russian blue) and would have more if time and money permitted.  I do not agree with animal testing and go out of my way to purchase make up, groceries, etc.  that I believe agree with my views.

However, I must state unequivocally that I do not and will not support violence against human beings.  We must use our brains and our educations for these most difficult situations.  It seems to me that it actually invalidates the message of the animal protector.  I admire their fortitude and determination in this important idea!  But, we must behave humanly and not like those of our dear animal friends, for that is what separates us.  We have reason and logic on our side.

The activist may argue that is why they take such extreme steps, because the animal, with their limitations cannot.  I hear you and I applaud your ideology.  But, please consider that children were nearby and in danger of injury or worse.  I realize that one of your goals was to get the publicity many of you so richly deserve.  I just ask that you find another way.  I will support you, but not if you are endangering a child.

Weekend Thoughts

Today is a great day in that my husband has the day off (not typical on Saturday) so we get to hang together as a family of 3, instead of the usual 2 with one at work.  Our first stop after lunch was Borders Books as we love to linger and walk around and enjoy the lovely anticipation of a new book or magazine.  I got "You Are What You Eat"  by Dr. Gillian McKeith and one of my favorite magazines, 'Artful Blogging". The husband got a writing magazine and a bargain book (something we absolutely love about Borders Books).   My book is, of course, about my all encompassing obsession with losing weight. I am really gaining interest in the raw food/greens ideology and so I am very attracted to those books. I feel it will be the way for me to finally conquer this personal problem.  But, it is slow going as it is not an easy thing to do.  I have just started to read this lovely, magazine-style book so I will give you a full review when I am done.

The blogging magazine is simply gorgeous and I am salivating to read through it so I am waiting for just the perfect moment of peace, tranquility and at least 20 minutes in a row! I am hoping for inspirational ideas for this blog to keep you interested and make it fun and creative for me,  too!  

By the way, I did tell you I would review fun things we have purchased and so at this very moment I have my Macbook sitting on a lap desk on my lap!  We purchased it from Target for under $20 dollars and it is fantastic! The bottom is soft on the skin and has a "cushy" feel and it has done a great job of keep my Macbook cooler than normal.  We found it in the back-to-school section.  We have also become big fans of the grocery store "Fresh and Easy".  Very well priced, fresh and often times organic food and very well priced wine, always a bonus!  Have a super fabulicious day and stay positive in your thoughts and your actions!  

See the beauty in potential!

"See the beauty in potential"-I heard this on the TV this morning as I was playing with the baby and drinking my coffee.  It just hit me like a ton of bricks!  I have been thinking about this all day!  This applies to so many things in my life!  Currently, my weight loss project which clearly I am sucking at.  This blog and the emptiness just waiting to be filled.  The band I'm in and the show I am writing.  My beautiful son's life and our responsibility to give him all the tools to make his own fabulous life and reach his potential.

What is my potential, I ask myself?  What am I ACTUALLY capable of?  Could I actually lose this weight that is so hindering my work and my health and my personal happiness?  Could I get enough singing jobs to leave the "crappy but paying the bills" job?  Will anyone like my show?  Is it actually potential as much as it is belief in yourself and plain ole hard work?  Ok-I just looked up the definition of potential; 

1)possible, as opposed to actual

2)capable of being or becoming

Ooh.  That sounds like personal responsibility to me.  Uh-oh!!! You mean all this stuff is up to me and me alone?!?  Perhaps, if I look at the beauty in MY potential, instead of focusing on the slowness of my success, it will all move along more quickly and maybe, just maybe, I might even enjoy the process.  Tell me about the beauty in your potential-I'd love to hear from you!